There are 5 languages of love which one you choose depends on who you are and also who you are showing that love to. In lieu of Valentine’s Day, today I am taking about these languages of love.
So what are the 5 languages of love?
Words of Affirmation:
Everyone loves being appreciated!! And if you cannot readily think of anything positively noteworthy to say about your partner, parents or kids – you are most likely taking them for granted. It’s worth taking the time out to stop, reflect, and comment on how they enrich the lives of others, be it their partner, children, extended family, friends, colleagues, and/or community.
It’s always good to notice and acknowledge the little things as well as the more obvious things, and give thanks for those everyday routine things that are mostly taken for granted. Aim for at least a couple of genuine heartfelt compliments, words of appreciation, and encouragement daily. It’s good for the soul.
Acts of service (devotion):
I think of this one is more like loyalty. If your love is true, no matter to whom (be it your parents, partner, kids or God) you will also be loyal and show devotion by making time.
Also people with this love language are always there to help others out and love to have others help them out! These are also the friends that feel so loved and cared for when you do something special for them in some way.
When in doubt – give gifts!!
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism – it’s actually far from that! The receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. The perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.
Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly!!
Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention. I don’t mean sitting on the couch watching television, instead what I mean is sitting on the couch with the TV off, looking at each other and talking, and giving each other your undivided attention.
Sometimes you need to spend quality time together to make the love felt. It doesn’t have to always be in person, chatting over the phone with a friend is also spending time together, or even better Facetime with them so they know all your attention is theirs.
A central aspect of quality time is togetherness, but by that I do not mean proximity.
Physical touch doesn’t always mean sex. Hugging, kissing (even on the cheeks or forehead, on the hand), a pat on the back, a stress relieving head massage, massaging someone’s feet when they are hurting, patting their head – are all examples of physical touch.
When you reach out with tender touch, you create emotional closeness. They can be implicit and require only a moment.
So what does all this mean??
They say we all have a primary love language but I believe, in reality, we often do need more than one with each relationship we have in our life.
For example: As lovers/parents/friends – you share all 5 languages of love. For your God, you have the devotion form of love and also gifts in terms of the offerings we make. A teacher’s words of affirmation are their form of showing love for their favorite student.
If you want to understand these languages of love in greater depth, I would recommend reading Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages”.
Disclaimer: This post is in no way an advertisement, infact I myself have to still read this book!!
It would fun to also take an online quiz to see what is your preferred language of love when it comes to the receiving end of the spectrum! Here’s a link to where you can do that:
Hope you enjoyed my post and wishing you all a Very Happy Valentine’s Day in advance!!
Ps: My online quiz revealed that I am a Quality Time (#1) and Physical Touch (close #2) kinda girl and I would say I couldn’t agree more. I definitely have changed over time, as I have matured. Earlier gifts would excite me a lot, don’t get me wrong, they still do, but just not as much as spending some meaningful time together. Oh and yes I am totally touchy feely and the physical touch being a close second doesn’t surprise me at all. If you wondering what the others rated as: #3 was tied between Act of Service, Gifts and Words of Affirmation.